i made a mistake when I dumped her

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    Hi, I'm Chase Oliver and I'm 32 years old.

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    Dear Diva Rebecca,

    I made a mistake when I broke up with my ex on March 30. I gave her two weeks to leave, then went on a tear of women, alcohol, and shopping. In late June I realized that I wanted her back and really wanted to marry her. I broke every don't rule you had, and even called her father. I have tried everything from calling her to e-mailing her, and just praying. For two years she begged me to marry her, and I said no. I am now dating a Playboy model (seriously) and I have never been so miserable. I can pull it off and land any woman at will, but Susan won't answer my e-mail. I turned off the phone I gave her, so I cannot even call her. My friend's and family hated her as much as her friends and family hate me, so I have no support there. I just don't know what to do now.


    Dug My Own Grave,
    Amityville, NY

    Dear Digger,

    I have seen this one happen a thousand times. This is why I think it is usually a mistake to just give up and call it a day during a long term relationship. Most people, the ones that do the leaving, end up regretting it in the long run. What you have to understand is that during every relationship either one or the other feels a little suffocated after a while and maybe might be a little pushed away, but that feeling will change eventually if you just hang on, and then it will be the other person's turn. Relationships are cyclic, they move back and forth like the tide. But one you break that circle and leave, very often you realize the mistake you made because you want it back.

    The very first thing you have to do is get rid of your little playmate. I don't care if she is a knockout with large perky breasts. You just said you have never been so miserable. Then what the heck is the point? If anything you should be dating someone that makes you happy as all can be if not your ex. If you are truly that miserable, get rid of her and her boobs. As Jane Austen once said, "Nothing is to be compared to the misery of being bound without love, bound to one, & preferring another. That is a punishment which you do not deserve." Fitting, isn't it? Now you have a choice, you are not bound. Go ahead and rectify the situation before you make Ms. Boobalicious pregnant and suffer the consequences.

    Besides, being tied to this model is not scoring you any points with your ex. Things are quite reversed in this scenario. You are the one that broke her heart and hurt her pride. What you need to do is suck it up and and give her a huge ego boost. You need to do some major groveling because that is what she needs to see and hear! She is not going to just go back to you because you had your fun and now you want her back. She needs to know that YOU KNOW you seriously made a mistake.

    She is not answering you calls so you are going to have to take it up a notch. You don't have to be considered a stalker to do so. Just show up at her door after work and ask her very sweetly if you can talk with her. If she hesitates, give her the big puppy dog eyes and beg. Don't show up at her work where she may already be stressed out and don't try to go through her friends. Do this when she has some time alone. She will probably hear you out. In this case tell her everything straight from your heart. Let her know how horrible you feel, how much you miss her, how much you want to marry her, how much of an ass you've been, and wrong you were (that is an important one...she wants to hear you say you were wrong) and more. Tell her everything you want to say and everything she needs to hear.

    She won't take you back right away but now the pressure is on. She will start answering your calls and emails. Just keep digging at her, telling her everyday how much you sincerely love her. Don't date anyone else and keep focused on her. You need to work on healing her heart and emotional bruises for a while. Eventually, you will wear her down. Once you get a relationship going, take a little tip. Work on mending the relationships between your family, her and your friends. Take the time to tell your family how great she is over and over and they will soon start to see it. Don't forget to also let them know she makes you happy and you love her. They will soon be happy for you. If they didn't like her in the past, perhaps it was because you were only passing along the bad parts of your relationship?


    Diva Rebecca

    Not everyone will agree with me, everyone has their own opinion.
    What would your advice be?
    Be respectful and courteous. Rude remarks and slander of any kind will be removed.